Most Embarrassing Moment # 3,027

Yes, there's been a lot of them. I have said for some time that no one can say or do anything to embarrass me and make me turn red with one exception. That would be me. I've never been one to blush, and am seldom at a loss for words. But occassionally, I manage to do or say something that turns me a crimson red.

I have a friend that turns red at the drop of a hat. Doesn't have to be anything out of the ordinary, it just happens.

Let me begin. Several years ago a dear friend of mine lost her husband to a brazen hussey. I don't think I've ever spelled 'hussey', so I'm not sure if it's acutally hussey, or if it should be hussy. You do, however, get my drift.

Needless to say, my friend was depressed and despondent. It was bad--ok? Another friend and I decided it was time to get her out of town and her mind off her troubles. We decided to take her to spend the day shopping in Memphis. We decided to get all dressed up and act, well, act like we had a bit of class. So we did. We made silk purses our of three sow's ears, and off we went. I wore a two piece dress with a gored skirt made of a light silky fabric along with hose and heels. Do you possibly know where I'm going with this?

I don't even remember where all we went, but for lunch we went to Houston's. At the time, one of the most sought after eating places in town. We put our names on the list, and waited for a table.

Finally our name was called and we were seated in a booth that was one step higher than the main floor. And did I mention, the seats were a type of plastic. We ordered our drinks and an appetizer, and while we waited, we all went to the restroom--way in the back of the restaurant. I was last.

We ate our lunch, chatted and felt we had made progress with our friend's disposition. The check came, and as I slid out and stood up, my back was facing the open dining area. At that nano-second, I felt a breeze. It seems I had prespired a bit, and the air was quite cool on my shining behind. I had shown my hiney to the entire group of people congregated there.

I managed not to scream, but made enough noise that my friends immediately looked to see what was going on. Then they died laughing--along with everyone else in the room. Fortunately, they did so as they helped me get my dresstail out of my panty hose. In retrospect, I can't understand why I didn't hear applause. I'm sure it was very entertaining. I'm not sure that the people who had seen me come out of the restroom, hadn't, in fact, stayed to see the end of my performance.

Fortunately, when I embarrass myself, I also manage to see the humor in it as well. We took our check to the cashier on the way out, and she was one of those who had been laughing uncontrollably. I suggested that since I was the floor show, I should have gotten my meal free.